Mario has been a star in the video games industry since the beginning, and he has played a part in dozens of different games. It stands to reason that not every one of them was a success. Mario has taken part in his share of stinkers. Here are ten of the worst.
10. Virtual Boy Mario Tennis
This game was amazing, if you wanted the experience of being hit in the face by a tennis ball over and over, in a headache-inducing red and black, while wearing a medieval torture device.
9. Mario’s Picross
Everything American gamers loved about Picross, on a tiny game boy screen in the faded yellow-green color scheme. What’s that? Most American gamers didn’t like Picross? Well, that explains that.
8. Mario Teaches Typing
This game wasn’t all that bad, for what it was. The problem was the repetitive, awful music that turned a bright Mario busting blocks to a hunchbacked turtle-filled nightmare machine.
7. Mario’s Early Years
Many early video games were designed for children. This game was designed for babies. Actual babies. It had stilted, robotic voices and all the charming gameplay of a Speak And Say.
6. Hotel Mario
A game where Bowser’s master plan involves competing with Motel 6. Worse, Mario’s solution to the problem is the inane goal of closing every door in the hotel. This game essentially had nothing that made Mario fun.
5. I Am a Teacher: Super Mario no Sweater
This game isn’t even an educational game. It never game to America. It was, in fact, part of a long line of tutorial games in Japan. It was essentially a sweater knitting pattern stored on a Famicom cartridge. There was nothing game-like about it.
4. Wrecking Crew
A game starring Mario where he used a hammer to smash walls and ladders, running away from enemies and competing with a predecessor to Wario. It was slow and boring, and not even one of the earliest level editors could save it.
3. Virtual Boy Mario Clash
A 3D spiritual remake of the familiar Mario game where the whole objective was to defeat strings of enemies. No castles, no princess, no flags. It suffered, like every virtual boy user suffered, from the virtual boy as a platform.
2. Super Mario Bros. Special
One of the first games to feature Mario on a PC, Super Mario Bros. Special was a harder remake of Super Mario Bros. Except, due to the limitations of the PC, the fluid side-scrolling action of Mario was transformed into single, immobile screens with paused screen transitions.
1. Mario Party
Mario Party itself isn’t a bad idea. It’s a party game for four players that you and your friends can pull out for parties. It’s also tedious, cutthroat and frustrating. Some people absolutely love it, and those people have very few friends willing to play Mario Party with them.