50 Michael Scott Quotes to Inspire Your Inner Office Antics
“The strong survive, but the courageous triumph.”
― Michael Scott
“Master the rules of the game until you can play it better they can.”
― Michael Scott
“Make friends first, make sales second, make love third. In no particular order.”— Michael Scott
“Well, it’s love at first sight. Actually, it was… No, it was when I heard her voice. It was love at first see with my ears.”— Michael Scott
“No, I’m not going to tell them about the downsizing. If a patient has cancer, you don’t tell them.”— Michael Scott
“An office is for not dying. An office is a place to live life to the fullest, to the max, to… An office is a place where dreams come true.”— Michael Scott
“Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don’t know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me.”— Michael Scott
“Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it’s not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised.”— Michael Scott
“Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.”— Michael Scott
“Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”— Michael Scott
“I guess I’ve been working so hard, I forgot what it’s like to be hard working.”— Michael Scott
“I love inside jokes. I’d love to be a part of one someday.”— Michael Scott
“I say dance, they say ‘How high?'”— Michael Scott
“I don’t hate it. I just don’t like it at all and it’s terrible.”— Michael Scott
“I’m not superstitious but I am a little stitious.”— Michael Scott
“The worst thing about prison was the dementors.”— Michael Scott
“I am Beyonce, always.”— Michael Scott
“Tell him to call me ASAP as possible.”— Michael Scott
“Fool me once, strike one. Fool me twice, strike three.”— Michael Scott
“I want you to rub butter on my foot…Pam, please? I have Country Crock.”— Michael Scott
“I would say I kind of have an unfair advantage because I watch reality dating shows like a hawk, and I learn. I absorb information from the strategies of the winners and the losers. Actually, I probably learn more from the losers.”— Michael Scott
“It’s a pimple, Phyllis. Avril Lavigne gets them all the time and she rocks harder than anyone alive.”— Michael Scott
“Is there something besides ‘Mexican’ you prefer to be called? Something less offensive?”— Michael Scott
“Don’t ever, for any reason, do anything for anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what. No matter where. Or who, or who you are with, or where you are going or… or where you’ve been… ever. For any reason, whatsoever.”— Michael Scott
“It is St. Patrick’s Day….It is the closest that the Irish will ever get to Christmas.”— Michael Scott
“I don’t understand. We have a day honoring Martin Luther King, but he didn’t even work here.”— Michael Scott
“Abraham Lincoln once said, ‘If you’re a racist, I will attack you with the North.’ And those are the principles that I carry with me in the workplace.”— Michael Scott
They say that your wedding day goes by in such a flash that you’re lucky if you even get a piece of your own cake. I say that’s crazy. I say let them eat cake. Margaret Thatcher said that about marriage. Smart broad.”— Michael Scott
“No, Rose, they are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs…Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what quality of life do we have there?”— Michael Scott
“I’m an early bird and I’m a night owl. So I’m wise and I have worms.”— Michael Scott
“I feel like all my kids grew up and then they married each other. It’s every parents’ dream.”— Michael Scott
“Here it is, the heart of New York City, Times Square… named for the good times you have when you’re in it.”— Michael Scott
“Two weeks ago, I was in the worst relationship of my life. She treated me poorly, we didn’t connect, I was miserable. Now, I am in the best relationship of my life, with the same woman. Love is a mystery.”— Michael Scott
“Michael Scott: Yes. Of course. What’s this in reference to?”— Michael Scott
“I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do.”— Michael Scott
“Society teaches us that having feelings and crying is bad and wrong. Well, that’s baloney, because grief isn’t wrong. There’s such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown.”— Michael Scott
“Hi, I’m Date Mike. Nice to meet me. How do you like your eggs in the morning?”— Michael Scott “Ok, too many different words from coming at me from too many different sentences.”— Michael Scott
“I took her to the hospital. And the doctors tried to save her life, they did the best they could. And she is going to be okay.”— Michael Scott
“This is our receptionist, Pam. If you think she’s cute now you should have seen her a couple of years ago.”— Michael Scott
“Sometimes you have to take a break from being the kind of boss that’s always trying to teach people things. Sometimes you just have to be the boss of dancing.”— Michael Scott
“Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It’s like this tangible thing that you can point to and say, ‘Hey, man, I love you this many dollars worth.’”— Michael Scott
“I would not miss it for the world. But if something else came up I would definitely not go. “— Michael Scott
“Toby is in HR which technically means he works for corporate. So he’s not really a part of our family. Also, he’s divorced… so he’s not really a part of his family.”— Michael Scott
“If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.”— Michael Scott
“Jan is cold. If she was sitting across from you on a train and she wasn’t moving, you might think she was dead.”— Michael Scott
“I don’t come up with this stuff, I just forward it along. You wouldn’t arrest the guy who was just passing drugs from one guy to another.”— Michael Scott
“Friends joke with one another. ‘Hey, you’re poor.’ ‘Hey, your momma’s dead.’ That’s what friends do.”— Michael Scott
“I’m sinking a few, you know. Swish, swish, swish. Nothing but net. And their jaws just dropped to the floor. African-Americans!”— Michael Scott
“Any man who says he totally understands women is a fool. Because they are un-understandable.”— Michael Scott
“Michael: I… think you’re great. You’re my best friend.”— Michael Scott
